Day 16 of the Second Cycle (I think)

May 3rd, 2016

I feel like a lot of the time I throw some negative news at y’all so I’m happy to say this post is a happy, happy post. I’m going to fill you guys (I wanted to say y’all but I just said it before and I feel like two y’alls in a row may overwhelm you guys [y’all] too much.) in on my weekend. That previous sentence was so confusing to read. Sorry ‘bout it.

So my weekend was particularly amazing beginning Friday night. David came over; we had a movie night and ate pancakes. (With my dad, because there is nothing more romantic.) We watched a movie called Adventureland. It’s with Kristen Wiig (WHO I LOVE) and Bill Hader (WHO I LOVE) and Ryan Reynolds (WHO WE ALL LOVE) and other very talented people. My dad had seen it already but I hadn’t nor had David. I really enjoyed it. I thought it was very enjoyable. That is basically the same sentence but I didn’t realize until after I typed it and I want to keep it.

The next morning my mom went back to Long Island for the day, and I had to go to the hospital at noon. So I slept in (haha, just kidding. My body likes to wake me up at 8:00 am! Awww so sweet of you, body!!!!) and showered for the hospital. No nurse likes a smelly patient. David accompanied my father and I to the hospital.

Okay. So. This next part is my favorite highlight of the whole weekend. That may make the entire rest of this post anticlimactic, but you win some you lose some, ammiright?

On Saturday, I was going to the hospital VOLUNTARILY to make sure I wasn’t neutropenic. I wanted to be able to go to Relay for Life, which was that night. I could only go if my neutrophil count and what not was up. So I would need a finger prick that would be over real quick (call me Dr. Seuss) and I’d be on my way with the results in hand in no time.

So my dad, David and I cabbed to the hospital.

Let me tell you. I fucking love the hospital on Saturdays. Well, I never really love the hospital ever but if I had to choose when to love it, it would be Saturdays. It is empty and quiet and there is a nurse on Saturday that is the bomb.com. (Don’t click that link. I don’t know what it leads to.)

We get to the back of the Pediatric Urgent Care area, where one goes on a Saturday, and Brittany (the super dope nurse I was referring to moments ago) informed us that the machine that gives results using the finger pricks isn’t accessible on the weekend. This was bad news. It meant they would either need to a) access my port or b) do it through a vein on my arm (IV version). Nothing gives me more anxiety than getting my port accessed, and the week prior I had done the “b)” version, so I went with choice B.

I then had to warn David of what occurs when I get my blood taken. I could potentially

1. Get lightheaded
2. Need to lie down
3. Need water
4. Get pale
5. Pass out

And a few more options, but basically I do not tango gracefully with needles nor blood. Brittney (I don’t know how to spell it so I may spell it differently every time. Just for kicks.) gave me numbing cream to put on my arm, and told me she’d be back soon once the numbing cream kicks in. Joy.

The time in between that and my blood test was weird and great. My dad played some nice throwback tunes (understatement: they were awesome) and David sat next to me. We all bantered and chatted amongst ourselves and with the nurses around us. Both David and my dad were making me laugh. It was one of the moments where not a lot is happening but everything is so…happy (for lack of a better term) that you remember it vividly. I don’t know how to explain it. But it makes me smile.

Brittany then came back for the blood test. I gripped David’s hand (I normally have my mom in that position) and looked away.

And guys.

GUYS.

LISTEN TO THIS.

I. DIDN’T. EVEN. FLINCH.

I did not even flinch, ladies and gentlemen. I, yours truly, Casey Landman, did not flinch. I didn’t get pale. No, I did not need water. I was a-okay.

This has never happened in the history of my life. I did not feel the needle. I was a champion and a half.

I rarely applaud myself but how can I not after a life changing event such as that?

Afterwards, we continued our banter and music until the results came in. MY COUNTS WERE UP!!! Yippee!! We treated ourselves to brunch, David went back to NYU and it was time for a nap.

Or so I thought.

I could not sleep for the life of me. I watched The Proposal (Ryan Reynolds part two. Yum.) and just laid in bed.

My mom came back from Long Island with our family friend, Michelle, who is a bucket of fun. The four of us (Judy[my mom], Scott,[my dad], Michelle and I) went to dinner and then headed to Relay for Life!

My acting school classmates made a team called “Swaglantic” (our acting school is named Atlantic Acting School) and had t-shirts made up that said Swaglantic and #teamcasey. It made me feel all kinds of levels of love.

David came to the registration table and accompanied the four of us to the Swaglantic Relay for Life table. The entire venue was full of people fundraising for the charity. David showed me where events were happening and the atmosphere was just so full of hope and intention, my mood was lifted even higher.

Every 15 minutes or half hour there was a new event. One event was donating your hair, another was pie-eating (my friend Shanna from Swaglantic won. Represent.) and there was even Zumba and a lip sync battle. (Wasn’t there for the lip sync, but Swaglantic killed.) At 8:45, there was dodgeball. My father, a fan of dodgeball, made it just in time for the second (and last) round.

And he destroyed. Those poor college students didn’t know what hit them. Literally.

Along with some participants from the Swaglantic team, my dad hoarded dodgeballs and stayed in the game until the very end. Not only that, but made the winning throw to get the opposing team out. All of us on the sidelines were half scared half impressed.

I’m a proud daughter.

The entire night was amazing and spent surrounded by amazing people. My dad also got a henna tattoo.

I wish you guys could meet the people I get to go to school with. They’re the kind of friends people write about.

We left around 10:30 but the night went until the next morning. The event was from 6:00 at night to 6:00 in the morning, because cancer never sleeps. David and a few other Swaglantics stayed the entire time. They’re crazy.

After a game of Rummikub with Michelle and my parents, I passed out.

Sunday was a great day spent with visitors from high school friends, and Monday morning was spent at the hospital (not so great) but made better by visiting my college friends at our dorm to watch them rehearsal. My nurse, Mindy, (she is really awesome and one of my favorite people there) at the hospital told me I am one of their most active patients, which made me feel really great because I feel like I do nothing. But that is comparing myself to my former non-cancerous self.

Today I went to the morning half of my acting classes. It is so awesome just to be near the talented actors I’m lucky enough to call friends, teachers included. I love being there. I am so lucky to be there.

I watched Monsters University and napped on and off post class. My body is tired.

My grandma joined us for dinner, which was really lovely.

I also received a poster from a girl named Lizzi, who lives all the way in Maryland. She started a bake sale with her friends in honor of “Team Casey.” I’d be lying if I said I didn’t tear up. I also got an email from someone going through the same fun stuff I’m going through. She was looking for someone to talk to that understands what she’s experiencing, and I didn’t realize it until it happened, but I think I need that, too. Sometimes helping and being helped can go hand in hand.

This week has been so great. I’m in such a great mood and I haven’t cried for bad reasons in so long. I also find comfort in Destiny’s Child’s (that sounds weird but it feels grammatically correct) song, “Survivor.” Tomorrow, Judy and I are seeing a show and grabbing lunch with a friend.

I feel on top of the world. Fuck Cancer.